He was my first actual REAL love. We were together about 3 years but the abuse started after only one month. He would humiliate me in front of other people, push me around, hit, kick, and choke me.
He called me fat (I ended up losing heaps of weight and I was slim already) and he said I was stupid and would constantly build himself up by putting me down.
I was never allowed to have male friends because he constantly accused me of cheating (while in reality, he was the cheater).
He would go out, take my car, all my money and not come home until the next night. I would try to talk to friends and family about it but he had “spies” and would find out and things would just get worse. I loved him with all my heart and refused to see what he was doing to me as “abuse”.
How I coped
I would talk to my mother at times, but mostly kept things to me out of fear of him finding out that I was “talking about him!”
How the situation changed
I walked in on him and my “best friend” in bed together and decided this was my opportunity to get out. He couldn’t lie his way out of this one.
I went and stayed with my family and they helped me and are still helping me through it all. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my entire life.
My advice to others
Love is very blind and sometimes you’re so blinded that you don’t even realize you’re being abused. Love is also a very wonderful feeling but it is very important for that love to be mutual.
If there’s one thing that I have learned from all this, it’s to take the advice of friends and family. Sometimes they can see what you can’t.