To my sweet sweet lover

‎I’m growing to fall for you , I can’t help it and I know that commitment is not a possibility for you.
I still remember when I joked about it and you looked at me with those wide terrified eyes and heaving chest , it crushed me ; even after 2 years and a half together you still couldn’t see me as your SO? Where I come from 6 months- year is a huge deal before an official step (meeting parents, engagement…) and here I am; two and a half very happy years together while enduring all the comments from my friends and watching them becoming wives and fiances but I never pressured you into it.

I can’t blame you since you made it very clear : you’re terrified of commitment but I hoped that maybe one day you’d look at me in the eye and say that you want to spend your life with me as much as I do . You know what? I thought about giving you a choice , that I’d ask should I wait – not necessarily steps taken now – or should I go but deep down I know that I won’t win this one and if by some heavenly miracle you choose me over your fear you won’t for long and it’s going to turn ugly .

I choose for us, I’m leaving and erasing everything that connects me to you. You’ll miss me but not as much as I’ll miss you, not as much as I’ll spend the night crying and thinking how much of a stupid decision this was, that I could have been happy a little bit more but when time heals me – and you – I’ll know it was the right thing to do, that I’ll feel that I’m good enough for someone to spend his life with me. So sweetheart , thank you for all the happiness you’ve given me , the woman that you’ve transformed me to become, I would have been a very different person – if alive – if you weren’t around .

But dear love: I’m breaking up with you because I love you.‎

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