#ThursdayRants – Matters of the Heart

Apparently she doesn’t read my blog so i can bare my mind here…
So there’s this cool/cute babe i have suddenly started tripping for and its not been easy.
Well, we met during NySC but we never really used to talk den so we weren’t even close to being close plus i am proud so i dnt seem to check twice most times hence the blindside to the real beauty.
So after NySC, we suddenly got talking and then I started seeing the real her and i fell head over heels (i never knew that saying was true)
Unfortunately for me, i had done something i shdnt have done – i had introduced her to a guy dt wanted to date her (of course wv d impression that she was jst going to shun him)
So we got really close and after series of confirmation from different sources and means, i asked her to be THE ONE and she dealt the heaviest blow on me when she said “i cannot say yes or no now. I need time” (in my pride, I’d av preferred a NO to a WAIT)
Well, we kept talking and getting close but going nowhere as it may seem so one day i was really fed up of the suspense as i was dying on the inside (not joking. I cnt explain it too but that is what suspense does to me)
I was really emaciating and peeps started noticing it too.
In my mind i’m like “does she like me? Does she not? Is it my pot belly? Maybe its cos i’m nt fine? Abi na d distance? Or is it my attitude? Or she just doesn’t like me? Or my fluctuating health? Or cos i no get moni?
A thousand and one questions kept running through my small head and it kept killing me (literally).
I tried severally to make her understand that what i feel is real but then it dint seem to hold any water so i let sleeping dogs lie but i kept dying.
Everyday, we talk ob skype or viber or bbm or whatsapp or voice call or what have you and everyday i kept falling in a new dimension for this babe. I tot twas going to end soon but nah (apparently soon cld be 5 years).
I kept praying and hoping and I’m still praying and hoping but i dnt even know what to do.
I care about her gan… I mean GAAAAAAANNNNNNN but it takes two to tango… I have done the asking, all she needs to do is say NO or otherwise.
This is such a shocker that Teekay as hard as he i think he is can be brought down by mere relationship issues.
I have tried to be determined to control myself but nah.. It just doesn’t work all the time. Infact, the more i try, the harder it seems.
I tot i d never lose sleep or appetite over a female but here i am doing exactly the opposite if what i stand for.
The problem is we seem like we are in a relationship alredy but i cnt say/do some relationship stuffs. Everyoda tn is in place – we check on each oda constantly, we talk everyday irrespective of the fact dt she’s nt in nigeria sef, we do things together, we gist a lot.
Is she scared to commit, is she taking her time, is she killing me knowingly, is she just being selfish, is she talking to people or reading books, does she have a boyfriend or someone in mind alredy, is it this, is it dt.
I am really really dying oh peeps.
Hey lil cupid, oya take ds 25 arrows and strike her for me now now.
Its a rant so it doesn’t need to have a point or an end.


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