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How many of you have ended up in a relationship where you find yourself furious at your partner, after which resentment keeps bubbling up and boiling over for a good stretch of time? You can go ahead and raise your hand if that’s happened to you. I’m going to raise my hand, too.
What I’ve found in my work with couples is that this problem most often arises when we answer “Yes” to something we really want to say “No” to. An inauthentic “yes” for the sake of short term peace almost always ends up breeding resentment in the long run.
We’ve all been there, right? We’ve all gotten to that space where we feel like our partner overstepped our boundaries in some way or our partner is somehow not fulfilling their end of an agreement we made based on our expectation that they would also follow-throughRead More Why Saying ‘Yes’ Might Actually Be KILLING Your Relationships
Infidelity is the betrayal our society focuses on, but it is actually the subtle, unnoticed betrayals that truly ruin relationships. When partners do not choose each other day after day, trust and commitment erode away.
Partners may be aware of this disloyalty to each other, but dismiss it because it’s “not as bad as an affair.” This is false. Anything that violates a committed relationship’s contract of mutual trust, respect and protection can be disastrous.
Betrayals are founded on two building blocks: deception (not revealing your true needs to avoid conflict) and a yearning for emotional connection from outside the relationship.
Below are three betrayals that ruin relationships. Only by confronting and taking responsibility for them can couples reestablish their trust inRead More 3 Betrayals That DESTROY Relationships (And Aren’t Infidelity)
If you cannot say “No” to a person who is not right for you, the following may be why your relationships don’t last:
1. You mix up two biological processes.
Your genetic instructions have you searching for a partner. However, you also have genetic instructions to be promiscuous. Humans are highly complex. Pair-bonding makes for better ability to survive in the world. Promiscuity makes more babies so the species can survive.
When you are first getting acquainted with someone you are attracted to in both ways, The amygdala — the brain’s fear alert system — and the anterior cingulate — the brain’s worrying and critical thinking system — are turned way down when the love circuits are running full blast.”