Should I Date Him?

Question (Anonymous):
One evening, as I was relaxing at my balcony with my jolly good friend, taking in the fresh air considering PHCN had done their bidding again. My 13 year old neighbor walks up to us and begs to have a little chit-chat with me and my friend. She says “Egbon I really wanna talk to you”. I heaved a heavy sigh and said ‘I am listening dear’.

‘It’s about a guy. I think am am in love with him’ she said. So I asked if it was the boy that comes around often to see her and was recently admonished by her mother. She replied, ‘No. It’s not that one jere. He errmmm is a university student. He is our neighbor. Lives in the next house…’. So there I was with my bosom friend, listening to the epic love story of a young teen.

“He used to come to our compound sometimes and I never used to greet him. So one day he called me and asked why I never used to greet him. I told him sorry that I would henceforth. So whenever I pass by and he is with his friends, I just wink at him. One fateful day he came up to me and said he likes me. I replied, like a friend? He said NO, but much more than a friend. He sha asked for my number so that we can chat always and schedule meeting points. He said he cares about me a lot but he does not want anything from me. That he would be patient. In short bro, I have fallen for him. Is it wrong? What should I do”.

I just stood there wondering what to say to this young girl who at such a young age is being exposed to the intricacies of boys and the complexities of her hormones….and from the look on my friend’s face, I guess he’s in the same boat with me.

We both really want to advise her since it would turn on us in one way or the other. But if you help us answer it, we could show her your post and she’ll get the necessary advice from your post. 
What is your advice to her Teekay?
My unbiased advice is as follows:
·         Ask her if she really likes the guy
·         If the answer to the above is YES, ask her if he really likes her and it is not just for SEX (we men are all after that)
·         If she is not sure of the above, tell her to tell the guy NO (my brother said he must not catch me with any boy). If he continues to pester her, he is truthful. If he says the brother doesn’t have to know, he is a rogue
·         Let her know that Sex is sweet but the consequences (outside marriage) are not palatable at all.
·         Tell her you need to speak with the guy and then tell the guy your mind as a loving brother e.g. I always tell anyone who dates my younger sisters that if she ever comes to cry to me concerning you, you will not like my response/action oh
Thanks for asking Teekay


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