Question: I Want to Do My P.Hd But My BF Is Insisting On Marriage. What Do I Do?

Question (Anonymous):

I’m 19, and am in my finals in one of the Federal Universities in Nigeria. I’m a lady, and am looking at getting my PhD before 25 when I plan to get married.

images (15)I have a boyfriend who is already working, though still a youth Corper. We’ve been dating since my 2nd year and he was in his 3rd year then. Even though I have told him of my plans to further my education till PhD level, he is quite adamant that if we are to get married, the best he can allow is a MSc degree.

I really dunno how to go about getting him to change his mind, and I am scared that this could lead to our parting ways, even though our families already know us personally.

Teekay, please what do you think is the right thing to do here.

PS. I have prayed about the relationship, and am very sure that this guy is my husband for life. What do you think I should do? Thanks.

Answer:

Congrats on your dreams and plans and ambitions but the only way to achieve ALL your dreams and plans and ambitions is to be alone till you achieve them. If you decide you need to have a boyfriend before achieving them, my dear, you are missing it because having a BF automatically means you might have to either change your plans or adjust them.

One of my mentors said “Marriage is made in Heaven but so are Thunder and Lightning” so if you say you have heard from God, he still a human being and therefore he would show up sometimes as unexpected (in this case – not wanting you to go on to P.Hd).

One thing I always advise people to understand is that there is nothing like my will in a relationship. It has become “OUR WILL” which in turn means that someone has to compromise (male or female) so i would advise that you yield to him since he has even agreed that you get your masters before marriage.

The only thing you can insist on is that you MUST do your P.Hd. (no matter what, even after marriage).

Your BF also had his plans before you met him and I am sure you are aware of some plans that he has adjusted cos of you (women and their ways) so give him respect too by adjusting (not changing oh) your own plans too..

Thanks

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