Question (Anonymous):
I’m a lady of 30 years, though I don’t look my age. I’m a very reserved person. I don’t really like going out, and I don’t have the appetite for trouble. My routine is: from work to house, house to church. That’s how I’ve been living my life. But my problem here is I’ve not really been lucky with guys.
My first relationship started when I was 22, and lasted for 5 months, after which I’ve had 4 other ones which were nothing to write home about. The fourth one lasted about 1 year 2 months and we were planning to get married, but that same year, the guy got another lady pregnant and got married to her right under my nose.
Ever since then I’ve been deeply lonely and it’s beginning to tell on me as I’m almost becoming a sadist especially after seeing the 2 friends I have and am older than get married. I can no longer concentrate at work, any little word or action moves me to tears, I am no longer my normal self.
I cry at work, home and almost anywhere. I don’t want to be an object of pity, please what should I do to stop this act because I’m so fed-up.
Answer:
Am so sorry you feel this way. It is normal most times to feel this way when things are not going as planned but below are a few things that can help you;
- You need to understand first of all that you are not in a competition with anybody. Because your house is the first on the street doesn’t make it the finest on the street. It mostly depends on what your destiny has in stock for you. If all your friends like, they should get married. Besides, don’t you know that some of them actually envy you as they are not happy with what is going on in their marriages. Never judge a book by its cover. the bigger the smile, the bigger the problem they are hiding.
- The wise ones say when you keep having issues with different people, check yourself. You need to work on being the Miss-Right rather looking for Mr-Right. Mr-Right is also somewhere around the corner looking for Miss-Right. While you work on yourself, Mr-Right will find you.
- Age is just a number. Some people are 40 years old and they are foolish. Stop looking at your age rather your achievements. Can you boldly say that at age 30 you have at least 40 years of experience? if NO, then work at it and develop yourself.
- Finally, my dad used to tell me that i should take my time before choosing a girl because he is currently almost 40 years old in marriage but he got married at 27. he has lived longer as a married man than when he was single. Marriage is a lifetime institution (na only burial be the graduation). My dear take your time.
Thanks