Me: Hello dear, how are you doing?
Temisan: I’m fine dear, you?
Me: eh, I’m just here oh, doing my work hehe, how is family and co now?
Temisan: Well, my parents are doing well, still spoke with them today.
Me: aww, that’s nice to hear, what of daddy and the children?
Temisan: ah ah? shey I look married to you ni? *laughs*
Me: ha! Yes ma oh! you look like mummy*big smile*
Temisan: ehn ehn,*smiles* well, i was once married though, but life came in between.
Me: Wow, sorry dear, you want to talk about it? or nah…
Temisan: Sure, why not? i mean what’s there to hide?
My ex-husband and I before we got married had been dating way back from year 1 in the university, he was in year 3 and I was in year1, we really loved each other so much!
We were intimate, you know had sex and all and it resulted into pregnancy! He asked me what we should do about it and I told him we should remove it that another will come, so we did!
We eventually got married though after like 6years of dating and all.
Least I thought it was going to be a fruitful one, but life happened, I was barren, i couldn’t bear a child.
Me: Really? Did you go for any medical checkups or anything?
Temisan: My dear, I’m sure there’s nothing I didn’t do, both spiritually and medically. I climbed mountains praying to God for a child, just one, i begged for forgiveness for the one I aborted long ago. I did everything to no yield, drank anointing oil, drank holy water, every every but no yield.
My husband was calm, little did I know there was fire on the mountain already.
My ex-husband would come home around 1:35am, 1:48am, odd times like that and I would be worried, asking him what he was doing out late. He would give one excuse or the other, like his car broke down, he had flat tire, and so on and so forth.
The very funny thing was I kept suspecting him, but I didn’t want to be too forward.
Married for 11years and still no child, my ex-husband would return from work and sleep on the couch. I started irritating him.
He wouldn’t eat at home, and he was never rude about it. He just brought up some explanations, more like excuses for me to let him go….
I panicked, i wept, i just wanted a child, just one to save my marriage.
His nieces would come over, i would make them food, we would play together, gist and i’d table all before them cause I figured they were grown-ups and should be able to, you know advise me on what to do, They were the closest to a husband’s family I had.
Little did I know that I no longer had a home, a husband or a marital life. Little did I know that he had betrayed me completely.
All of a sudden, on this unfortunate day, he called me from work said we needed to sit and discuss about something. Later that night, he sat me down, and relayed the story of how he had 3 children outside.
Me: what??!!! 3 children? what??? Wow! Jeez! men are wicked!
Temisan: My dear, i don’t know, i just don’t understand, i mean I was just staring at him, for a moment there I honestly thought I was running low on mental adequacy, I felt like I was going to lose my mind but I figured I wasn’t going to, this was my home and I was going to fight for it.
I told him okay, no problem, I was going to take in the 3 children, i was going to accept them as my own, but I won’t take the mother packing into my matrimonial home.
Me: awww that was so mature of you, such a nice deal.
Temisan: *laughs mildly* if only it was a nice deal. He didn’t agree! Said the woman had to move into the house. This was where I couldn’t take it anymore, i just moved from the couch unto the rug and wept, i wailed! I knew if I had just one child, just one! None of that would have happened.
But you know that wasn’t the most painful part, the most painful part is where he just walked away, saw me crying and just walked away like I meant nothing at all to him.
That was when I knew I had lost! The next morning, the lady and her 3 children were at the door already, 2 beautiful girls one boy, the shocker was that, the lady was his secretary!
Me: *surprised* secretary? really?
Temisan: Yes, yes really, that’s how callous they are, they are vicious creatures, genetically engineered to destroy…
Me: Calm down dear, they aren’t worth the stress….at all.
Temisan: calm down ke? Do you know what I’ve been through? marriage of 11years crumbled before my very eyes and you’re saying calm down? For him to have 3 children already means they’ve been having the affair for a very long time….
Me: Well, yes that’s so true….
Temisan: ehn ehn! So what are we now talking about? me I packed my load and left the house for him…..but least he knows I’m not barren, i once conceived and because of timing had to take it out and all these wasn’t without his consent, so what are we saying now? what?
Me: *sighs deeply* well, Temi, i understand the source of your pain, i know how bad you feel, i know how horrific what he did to you was and I’m really sorry about it…sorry love….
Temisan: Thanks dear, I’ve moved on with my life oh! I’m single and happy, i ply Dubai, U.K, South africa, i buy stuffs in bulk and sell, i make money, I’m steady stacking checks, and very soon, i would meet a man that loves me more than he did, if bearing a child isn’t possible, no problem, i would adopt a beautiful baby girl, aye o le oh!
Me: *confused on whether to smile or just make a sad face* (I was just there staring at her and the amount of pained bulked up in her heart) sweetie, you will be alright, things will be fine, I’m happy for the strong woman you are, you see how flawless your skin looks, you’re beautiful and he has lost a jewel! You will be fine.
Temisan: I am already, thanks dear and to every beautiful woman/lady out there waiting for that child to come, don’t lose hope, God still answers prayers you know, He will answer you and grant you your heart desire, just don’t stop believing.
And to the women in my shoes right now, don’t let anyone disrespect you for any reason; you are the boss of you! Don’t let any man throw you in the mud for some situation you have no control over, if he does that to you, know he was never the one to start with, a real man will stand by you no matter what, as that is exactly what he signed up for, ‘for better for worse’, so be calm darlings, all will be fine!
Me: Awwww, Temisan you don’t know how happy you have made me by just this little piece of advice to the women out there, that just can’t stand on their own, or even share their problems with anyone, thanks dear, God bless you.
Temisan: It’s you I should be thanking for letting me let-off the embargo, thanks for listening.
Me: Anytime dear.*smiles*