My ex girlfriend. Not a good start. I frequently think about her even after 2-3 years since we’ve broken up (as an added bonus, I broke up with her).
I sound insane. I really don’t understand why I can’t get her out of my head. Ever. I can think of other things, I can not think of her, but a lot of times I have a lingering wonder of: “how is she doing?” “I wish we could hang out” “I miss her.”. there are times that i forget about her for months, but she returns to my mind. I don’t know why.
I REALLY don’t understand why I can’t shove her away. She’s absolutely awful to me, she treats me horribly any time I’ve tried to talk to her since breaking up. Insult me, lecture me, make me feel horrible. Despite all that, I STILL manage to find myself thinking good of her, feeling like she’s awesome…
I think of us being friends again. Her speaking kindly to me. All i ever get is her being an asshole. even when I apologized for anything that I have or haven’t done. and I know I’m in no wrong, but I did it anyway. I even have tendencies to want to stalk her, but I wont, because I know better of it. And I know that any kind of talk from me to her would illicit an aggressive response against my emotions. It’s happened over and over again, and I feel like shit. I even feel like I’d take a bullet for her, when I hardly know her anymore.
Just to be friends with her again. Nothing more is necessary. Just. Friends.
I hope she’s doing well.