Am Being Pressured into Marriage…


Question (Anonymous):
Hide my ID. I have a problem giving me psychological stress which I will be so glad if u can help me solve it. I am 22years old and a corper. I happen to b a very ambitious guy but my problem is that I have this young girl am dating who I love so much but she keeps disturbing me to promise her marriage for assurance. I didn’t give in because I guess am still young for that and my philosophy is to make it before getting hooked up. But this gal is behaving somehow, I sense she is cheating on me though she is still hiding it and anytime I confront her about it, her response is that, she doesn’t know her fate – if I will marry her or not. Am confused, I don’t wanna lose this gal and don’t wanna get hooked up. Pls Teekay, how can I manage a relationship without promising marriage yet, this promise of a thing has made me lose a gal before and I don’t wanna lose this one, help a broda pls.
Answer:
This is a very common situation but the funny thing is, it is an easy situation. Let me start my saying that, the girl is already cheating on you (very obvious).
Making a promise is kinda a big clause though but if she already knows your plans (making it before getting hooked), then promising her marriage should not be an issue as long as you  both are aware that there is a clause. She also needs to promise you that she will wait for you no matter how long it takes (that might keep her quiet).
Another thing is anybody you lose was not actually meant for you. Yoruba people will say (Omo to ba ma pebi sun, ti won ba gbe ounje e si ori panu, alangba ma re bo – A child that will sleep hungry, if they keep his food in CBN vault, it is that day they would rob CBN and the food will pour sha). So you should be glad if someone decides to leave you because it is the person that lost out not you.
Finally, I think if you really like the girl as you claim, then you should give her what she wants because women will keep wanting something (even if you tell your wife that you would be working late and you get home by 10pm, she would still ask why you came home very late)
You might gain a few things from one of my previous posts too – http://askteekay.com/?p=59
Thanks
#ActLikeYouKnow
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