Today my suspicions where cleared up and verified, this solid 10/10 beautiful Ukrainian girl from work has been sending signals that she’s into me, which at first made me feel amazing. I’m fat, not much going for me in the face area, so to have such a great looking girl and nice person seem to be interested should be awesome, someone who’s willing to look past my looks. But then I got thinking, what’s the damn point? She is willing to look past my looks awesome. Is she going to look past the fact I have zero fucking social skills and I’m awkward as fuck?
Is she going to look past my anti-social shut in behaviors? Will she look past the fact I’m slob? The fact I have no money skills, no car, live in a shitty apartment splitting bills, the shit job, and even then I’m moving in less than 2 months out of state probably forever. The first woman to be interested in me in 4 years of trying to find someone to even give me the time of day, and now I realize it’s entirely fucking pointless, and this opportunity will probably never come again and I’m going to die a fucking lone and sad and full of regret
Getting this out because I just want to vent and don’t want a bunch of “You’re beautiful! You’re amazing” bullshit from people trying to feel better about themselves, I’m a shitty person and don’t have the dedication or motivation to change anything .