5 Things Every Man WISHES His Penis Could Do

There is a fact universally known about men with penises: They love them.

If you are a man, and you have a penis, then you love that penis.

You protect it, cupping it often in your hands during idle moments, adjust the positioning of your penis in your jeans almost constantly, using your penis as a litmus test by which all other men in the world are found to be inferior or superior to you.

If you are a man with a penis, then the chances are high that you spend at least a third of your day thinking about your penis and what it wants. Usually, this is just sex. Your penis, while important, is a simple creature with basic needs. All it dreams of? A warm wet hole to make its very own.

But I think you’ll find if you question most men, they all have a penis that harbors a superiority complex. They know that t

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7 Seriously BIZARRE Things You Never Knew About His Penis


We size them up a lot, but for all the attention guys get for what they’re packing below the belt, it turns out most of us still know pretty much nada about the penis.

So in the spirit of ever-growing our knowledge about sexual organs, we’ve rounded up seven seriously weird facts about penises.

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(And believe us, you’ll never look at one the same way again …)

1. Penises used to have hard spikes.

But guys lost them before we — as homo sapiens — evolved from Neanderthals. Scientists speculate that the penile spine helped quicken the time it took for a man to get an erection since it’s commonly found in promiscuous species like mice and monkeys.

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