Confession: I’ve been pretending for 5years now, but my boyfriend has never satisfied me

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I mean he’s a great guy. Caring, sweet, gentle and all that good stuff but sexually, its a zero. I love him so much that’s why I’m still with him. I’ve never had an orgasm in the 5years we’ve been together and he doesnt know that. Everytime we’re having sex, at some strategic point, i just scream at the top of my voice and start mumbling jack, and lying that I’m cuming just to make him feel like a man.

I hate that I keep doing this but I have no choice. I feel like I am the problem, but I’m really not sure. I want to try out sex with someone else and see if i’ll have that orgasm. Its altogether confusing because i love my boyfriend so much and I intend spending eternity with him.

But on a second thought, do I want to spend eternity with him and stay orgasm-less?

What if I decide to cheat and I also do not have an orgasm from that other person, how would I be able to face him? I guess the guilt will eat me up. I sound really crazy right now, and I know you all are ready to judge me, but put yourself in my shoes. You wont know how much it hurts until it happens to you.

I need your advice people, I really do!

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